Expert's tactics for avoiding RWC disputes

A mediation specialist is offering tactics on how to keep your cool and avoid fall-outs with family and friends during the Rugby World Cup.

Director of Massey University’s Dispute Resolution Centre Virginia Goldblatt says the upcoming tournament poses challenges to fans and non-fans alike as emotions run high.

She says basic principles of dispute resolution, which she teaches, apply to almost any potential conflict.

“In times of stress, heightened expectations, and anxieties, disputes are more likely than usual to arise. The six weeks of the Rugby World Cup in New Zealand could provide a fertile ground for conflict.

“Supporters who are passionate about their team sometimes lose perspective in the heat of the moment and that is when it can turn ugly, particularly if alcohol is involved.”

From squabbles with international friends who support opposing teams to who is in charge of the remote control Ms Goldblatt says the tournament is a hotbed of potential triggers. “Whether people are taking part in mass public events, at parties or at home, a certain level of control is needed.”

• She suggests five well-known Harvard Negotiation Project* principles of dispute resolution that could keep fans cool, even in the event of extra time, when the All Blacks have just conceded a try.
• Separate the person from the problem – If you are getting mad because a player from your team keeps giving away a penalty, don’t blame him it might be the game plan that needs changing.
• Build a golden bridge – When one of you supports the All Blacks and the other the Wallabies then find something you agree on – you both want South Africa to lose.
• Step to their side – Put the result it into context, the other team might not have beaten yours for several years.
• Expand the pie – If you are already fighting about what matches to watch – or whether to watch rugby at all – perhaps now is the time to get that second television set or subscribe to satellite tv.
• Go to the balcony – Finally, if you are losing control and the temperature in the room is hotting up, go outside, look at the scenery and breathe.

Ms Goldblatt says ideally we should avoid conflict by anticipating it and not reacting. “If it arises, then intervene early – speedy, informal and constructive approaches to problem –solving are best,” she says. “Finally, for intractable or entrenched differences (or the All Blacks lose), then some more advanced strategies are called for. We might have to go back to the drawing board for that.”