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Captain Cardoor is an intergalactic bike ranger sworn to SWERVE and PROTECT cyclists.
His mission is to protect cyclists from the unwitting car door swinger and to help these woeful individuals change their evil ways.
“Unlike my home planet of Bicyclopia 562 where the bicycle is the vehicle of choice and cyclists are safe, planet Earth’s people do not come out of collisions with the doors of parked cars without serious injury,” says the Captain.
“Because of this unfortunate intergalactic disparity and Earth’s cyclists’ status as critically endangered, I saw it as my duty to make the journey of several thousand light-years to reduce the frequency of such accidents and see the re-emergence of the cyclist on planet Earth.”
There are not many cycling Earthlings who have not had a close encounter with a suddenly-opening car door, says the Captain – a problem that can be avoided if drivers check their mirrors first for any approaching cyclists.
Captain Cardoor says cycling is viewed as the saviour of civilisations throughout the universe.
Bike rangers are dispatched whenever a planet’s life forms are in danger of polluting themselves out of existence with their infernal combustion engines, with the bike rangers aiding the return of the cyclist.
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