Address to the Launch of the Campaign for Action on Family Violence

Individuals and communities are coming together to say that family violence is not okay.

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Renouf Lounge, Michael Fowler Centre, Wellington

Rau rangatira maa,
tenei te mihi ki a koutou i runga i te kaupapa o te ra.
Tena koutou, tena koutou, tena koutou katoa.

[Distinguished guests, greetings to you gathered here for this purpose today. Greetings once, twice, three times to you all.]

"What can I do to stop this?"

That's what we are hearing from across New Zealand when we talk about family violence.

Individuals and communities are coming together to say that family violence is not okay.

There have been so many people doing great work to protect people from family violence for many years, but now each of us has to be an active part of ending it for good - in both senses of the word.

Family violence has terrible physical and emotional scarring effects. Of course it does, because the violence, abuse and neglect is carried out by people who are meant to love you most in the world: husbands, wives, partners, mothers, fathers, children.

What can we do?

We can start by asking this question: "Are you okay?"

If you know or suspect that someone is suffering abuse, speak to them. The great thing about this campaign is that it will mean that asking someone "Are you okay?" will be an invitation for people to talk about what is really going on in their lives, rather than just giving a superficial response.

And it is okay to ask the question. People affected by family violence often feel ashamed and isolated, so break the silence, show your support. It may wellencourage them to find the help they need. And asking this question is a message to abusers that there is awareness and condemnation of violent behaviour.

We all need to look after each other.

Many of the families that we have recently seen involved in horrific cases of child abuse and murder have been very isolated. They have lost sight of societal norms because they have not been part of communities and not been in touch with anyone who said to them that what they are doing is not okay. We need to make sure that all people are included in our communities.

And this is one of the reasons that our government is working in partnership with our community groups - they often have access to people and families which government services can't reach and build relationships with.

We need to identify and help children who witness family violence and try to undo the damage that has been caused, and so that they know that violence is wrong.

Children absorb the behaviour around them and we have to intervene early to ensure that they do not think violent behaviour is normal behaviour. We also need to understand and address the fear, confusion and uncertainty of children who witness violence.

And when we ask the question, "Are you okay?", we need to be prepared for the answer. We need to be prepared for someone to say: "No, I'm not".

Advertising through television and other media will contribute to increasing public understanding of family violence, its causes and effects, and create widespread agreement that family violence is not okay.

We hope that this will motivate people in violent situations to look for help. We need to realise that most people will turn to family and friends for this help. So be prepared. Learn about family violence and know what resources are out there so that you can help them.

It is also okay to make your beliefs known at every opportunity.

The workplace is good place to discuss violence and make it known that it is not okay.

The media is a powerful tool for changing community attitudes, so use it. Write letters to the editor; make sure that the knowledge and expertise of those working in the family violence field is reflected in news pages and bulletins. Use the media kits that have been produced to support local media activity.

And I appeal to the media, in your reporting of family violence, to place an emphasis on responsibility, to celebrate the stories of those who have survived violence and abuse and to celebrate the stories of those who have protected their families from violence and abuse.

You have a huge role to play in building awareness.

All of us should use our existing community groups, churches, Rotary and sports clubs to talk openly about family violence and direct people to services that can help them - both perpetrators of violence and those who suffer at the hands of perpertrators.

The voice of non-violent men is a powerful tool for change. Participate in events such as International White Ribbon Day: the day when men wear a white ribbon to show they don't tolerate or condone men's violence towards women.

Each and every one of us has a part to play.

It is okay to report abuse.

Family violence, as the Prime Minister emphasised earlier, is a public issue. No one has a right to be violent and no one has a right to keep their violent behaviour secret or as a "family matter".

And if you are still not sure, just think of the consequences of not reporting abuse. We have seen it too often.

I know that a lot of the time we just don't want to believe it and people might think calling the police or Women's Refuge may seem like an extreme and frightening step to take.
In these situations, the 0800 number that will be active from this Sunday is an excellent number to call.

It will provide support, information and resources to help people understand the impact of family violence and how they can make changes in their own lives.

This campaign will add to the raising of awareness that is already happening in communities. It will support the great work happening at a local level, which we have just heard about, and to resources such as Age Concern's new video specifically targeting Elder Abuse and Neglect. Seventy percent of elder abuse in our country is by a member in their own family.

How much demand will there be? Well, we don't know yet. I can understand concerns that the demand will be huge and that we will need to put more resources into the sector to respond - and we have put aside funding if this happens.

This is just the start. The campaign will continue to evolve and move on to address specific behaviour, such as intimate partner abuse and child abuse.

I want to thank all of you who work in the area of family violence; it can be emotionally draining and exhausting. I am inspired by the passion and commitment of all of you and I just want to take this opportunity to remind you that it is okay to take some time out to take care of yourself.

I want to thank everyone in this room today for your hard work and I'd like you all to remember the messages you've heard here today and think about what you can do.

Family violence is not OK but it is okay to ask for help. Thank you.